Thursday, Jul. 29, 2004
It's a conspiracy man! A freaking conspiracy!
Scary stuff happened today man.
Okay, so I had to run to Dr Bitch today, because I was having problems with my braces, right? I get there at about 2pm, and the MOMENT I walked in the door I heard this God-awful crunching sound, and the power went out. Everyone's all confused and the nice secretary lady (I believe her name is Betty) gets the power company on the phone. I'm rushed to the back room, because what they had to do for me was basically shove a rubber band in my mouth and set me free. I get back there, and it's sheer pandemonium.
Dr Fernaro is running about, trying to figure out how to get her little sucker-y doohickey to work while she has this poor little 10 year-old kid laying back in the chair with plastic grips holding his lips apart. I felt so sorry for this kid, because he just had saliva running down his chin, and he was stuck with the plastic things in his mouth! Poor soul! One of the assistants was cursing like a dirty sailor because she couldn't even get the chairs to adjust so that she could work on this one kid. I felt so bad, but when I left I felt all triumphant because I was in that damned office for five minutes, tops.
I then head to the library in Collinsville (aka the building of DEATH), only to drive six blocks in order to find a parking space. Have you any clue how hard it is to find a place to park in the business district of Collinsville when you can't parallel park??!? When I get there, I find out that the power for ALL of the city had been knocked out, as well as that of some smaller portions in O'Fallon. I end up checking out a movie (Walk, Don't Run one of my favorites) because they thankfully still did everything manually there.
On my way home (and here's the kicker), not only were the traffic lights completely OUT (not even flashing!), but along the side of hwy 55-70 I saw about 10 or 11 army trucks, and about 50 Army men running across the interstate trying to stop traffic. Keep in mind however, that I'm driving along the Frontage Roads. Then- here's the kicker- a tank passes me up. A fucking TANK! It took up the entire road, and I'm sure the man driving that tank was in a hurry, but goodness! Very impolite! Now, I realize that Scott isn't too far away, but you have to know that passing up a tank on the Frontage Roads is not an everyday occurance!
Here's the weird thing though- all the army people and the tank were headed towards Collinsville, where not an hour before the power had mysteriously gone out! And not a mention of anything on the news. Nothing about the power going out to about 10,000 homes; nothing about the army holding up traffic on a busy interstate; nothing about the tank! Not a single thing!
And this can't just be cooincidence. Not at all. Normally they'd make mention of power going out in that capacity on the news. Normally they'd say something about the army. This can't be right. The only possible explanation (as far as I can see) is government conspiracy. That's right, you heard me! GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!
There can't be any other logical explanation, can there?
theparisian at 10:02 p.m.