Thursday, Dec. 30, 2004
Bewildering....
It is currently one-oh-seven in the morning. Ten minutes ago, I got an odd phonecall from the fatherly figure:
Dad: Did you steal my ham?
Me: *bewildered* what?
Dad: The ham. Did you steal it?
Me: What ham?
Dad: The ham leftover from Christmas dinner. Did you take it?
Me: No.... You know I don't eat that kind of stuff. Why would I take your ham?
Dad: I don't know. But I do know that when I left for work at three there was ham in the refrigerator, and when I got home at twelve-thirty there wasn't any. Which leads me to suspect you.
Me: Dad, what would I do with a ham? Stash cocaine in it or something?
Dad: Don't joke around about drugs, people may think that you're doing them. *pause* Are you-
Me: NO! Dad! I didn't take your ham, and I'm no on cocaine! God!
Dad: Put your mother on the phone....
And while my Dad's berating my Mom about a missing ham, I open the refridgerator and notice that it's entire contents are 20 or so cans of diet coke, mayonaise, relish, pom juice, and that stupid ham.
How it got there, I have no idea, because I don't eat ham, and Mom's been with me since she got off work. and SHE most certainly didn't bring any ham home with her.
Perhaps the ham wondered in itself?
theparisian at 1:07 a.m.